I'm Sorry, Gomen
by Jeslene
Summary: The apologies I had been hearing, had been something I had started to miss... A Rui and Tsukushi one-shot.


Gomen  
  
A One-Shot by Jeslene  
  
Disclaimers: I do not own the Hana Yori Dango characters! I wished, but nope, it wasn't!  
  
A/N: Hi! I'm back with a one-shot once more. It's been a long time since I did a one-shot, and so, here it is! I hope you all will like it!  
  
~*~  
  
I leaned against the wall and looked at my watch. He's late for fifteen minutes already, and I'm getting more and more irritated. He had been like this since I chosen him.  
  
A frown crawled over my features as I caught sight of his brown hair. Panting slightly, he looked straight into my eyes.  
  
"You're late, Rui." Rui smiled a little as his towering figure moved towards me. He reached out his hand, gesturing for me to take it.  
  
"Gomen, Tsukushi."  
  
Gomen. Sorry.  
  
How many times had he said that? If I were to count, this apology was number fifty. I don't want a relationship to be full of apologies. Love means not to be sorry, right? But why-  
  
A sudden realization hit me, hard.  
  
I found out that my love for him was slowly simmering. Why? I didn't know. But I couldn't.  
  
I can't just leave him. I decided to love him and gave up on another. For him. For the way I feel. For the best for the three of us.  
  
So why am I feeling this way?  
  
Yes, I love him, or had loved him. He had taken my heart ever since the day I came into this school. I was a bug, a weed and trash in the school, I was never accepted as part of the students.  
  
But he sees me as who I was.  
  
He loves me as who I really was.  
  
So why was he drifting away from me now? I haven't been seeing him for two days and every time I tried to call after him, he ignored me. Totally.  
  
Are lovers suppose to act like this?  
  
I confronted him. And his answer was something I had expected right from the start.  
  
"Gomen."  
  
That was the ninetieth time.  
  
Days gone by. I couldn't see our future as clear as I thought anymore.  
  
"Gomen."  
  
And that was the last straw. We parted after our last conversation on the phone. Knowing that my presence would no longer worth anyone's welcome, I left my school and moved to a place that was devoid of my previous sadness.  
  
Three years was how much I took to heal my salted wounds. All of a sudden, I missed my friends. I missed him. Maybe, it's time to face them all over again. And I did.  
  
But I couldn't find him. He moved, he was out of school and the dial tone at the end of the line showed that he changed his phone too.  
  
Where is he?  
  
"Nishikado-san!" He turned as his face betrayed his surprised at my appearance. "Makino! You're back!"  
  
How I longed to tell them the same thing. But I need to see him.  
  
"Had you seen Rui?"  
  
His expression changed so rapidly, I thought I've seen his expression wrong. He was hiding something. And my instincts told me I need to know.  
  
"Where's Rui?"  
  
"He-"  
  
"No point hiding, Nishikado. Please." I couldn't stop my voice from shaking with worried.  
  
"Rui is in the hospital right now. He-"  
  
I found myself running towards the exit and towards my new destination.  
  
The hospital.  
  
The white walls and surroundings had turned into everything but peace. His ward neared as I turned around a corner, my heart thumping with agony.  
  
I pushed the door open and there he was, sitting on his bed with a book on his lap. He turned with a smile as he sensed my presence. Tears ran down my face, mixed with both fury and sorrow.  
  
"Rui! Why didn't you tell me about this! Why-why didn't you? Even though we did broke up, but it wouldn't hurt to tell me!"  
  
My legs automatically ran towards him as I flung my arms around his neck, my body shaking with sobs. I felt his soothing hand caressing my back softly, gently, just like what he did three years ago.  
  
He pulled away and gave me a weak smile.  
  
"Go-gomen."  
  
His hundredth sorry.  
  
And his eyes fluttered shut.  
  
And he left me to cope with this world alone.  
  
His mom came to me a few days later, with a box that contained pictures of the memories we shared.  
  
Every picture had a short story written on the back.  
  
The fiftieth photo. I had a frustrated expression on and Rui had his hand entwined with mine. The message behind the photo bought me tears.  
  
"When I was going out to meet you right on time, my chest started to hurt and I took some time to calm it down. I didn't meant to be late."  
  
I never knew that he had the sickness. He never told me. And the ninetieth photo told me why.  
  
"I never meant to hurt you. But if you know about my sickness, you'll be worried for me. I rather you stay happy then to be sad for me. Going away from you, would mean more time for you to find your happiness, without me."  
  
I came to the last photo without knowing it. It was a photo taken at the hospital ward.  
  
"I already knew how much time I had left. And by the time you saw this, I would already be looking over you up there in the skies. But promise me, don't blame yourself for me, your happiness is still there with you. Don't give up. I love you, I really do, and I hope that all the times I made you sad would be a memory you could love and cherish."  
  
"Promise me, don't cry when you read this. I love you and I always will."  
  
How could I not cry? He had cared for me all along while I took his care and broke it into pieces. Of all the times he said sorry, he meant everything.  
  
I held the photo to my heart and allow myself to cry.  
  
He shouldn't say sorry.  
  
I should.  
  
Gomen, Rui.  
  
Gomen.  
  
~*~  
  
A/N: I'm done and I know it's a sad one shot. But I can't help my inspirations. It may be bad, but please do tell me what you think okay? 


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